Prison Journal: Day 8,051
August 25, 2009
This morning, I began writing at 1:47 am. I’m writing about the days leading up to my marriage with Carole. My mother and my younger sister, Christina, flew to New Jersey to participate in our wedding inside the Fort Dix visiting room. That wedding was one of the best days of my imprisonment. Many people advised me not to marry. They said I had been in prison too long and that I didn’t know anything about love or the difficulties of marriage. Marrying Carole, though, was one of the best decisions in my life, as she’s brought more happiness and fulfillment to my life than I expected to know as a prisoner. I wrote through page 411 of the Earning Freedom manuscript, chapter nine. I ought to finish chapter nine tomorrow.
After the creative writing, I worked the remainder of the day editing. My mentor, Peggy, and my wife provided some outstanding suggestions to improve the presentation. I’m grateful for their expert touch.
This morning I ran 10 miles at the fastest pace in many years. I think the cooler temperature and my new running shoes combined to give me a finishing time more than 10 minutes ahead of my normal pace. I finished the run in 1 hour, 16 minutes, 13 seconds.
Prison Journal: Day 8,023
July 28, 2009
I’m grateful to have received a loving letter from my mother in today’s mail. These 22 years that I’ve served have been difficult on her, and I’m sensitive to her pain, to her feeling of separation from me, her only son. I’ve spent my entire sentence in various federal prisons, all of which were more than 1,000 miles away from her. We have not visited more than a dozen times in all these years, and telephone restrictions mean that we don’t talk. This separation of mothers and sons, of sisters and brothers, of husbands and wives isn’t normal. Yet after all these years, it’s the only life I know.
I’m sure that I’ll be released within four years, though I know release could come, theoretically, in three years or less. What will I return to? Others may not understand, but I truly feel alone in the world. I have Carole, my incredible wife whom I love with every breath, and who serves every day of this sentence with me voluntarily. Everyone else feels so far away, a lifetime away.
It won’t be long before I will have taken more breaths in prison than I took in freedom. That’s very strange, a distinction of questionable value, and one that I expect few other people can relate to. Oh well. These consequences follow the bad decisions I made during the recklessness of youth.
I spent several hours editing, reading, editing, and reading again. I’m very pleased with the improvements others helped me make to chapter two. I’m going to write tomorrow on chapter six, and likely return to editing on Thursday.
This morning I ran 10 miles. My tally is now 2,019 miles over the past 228 days. The health services department also renewed my allergy pills for 30 days.
Tuesday, 28 July 2009
Prison Journal: Day 8,021
July 26, 2009
A sad reality of prison life is that the rules limit us to 300 telephone minutes per month. With my writing, my preparations for release, and Internet projects, I feel obligated to reserve all of my phone minutes for Carole, who coordinates my interactions with society. A consequence of this choice is that I feel estranged from my mother and my sisters.
We’ve had news here about e-mail services that the prison will make available to the prisoners of Taft Camp. Prisoners in several other camps already have access to e-mail and from what I’ve heard it’s a wonderful system. We will have to pay a nominal fee to use the e-mail system, but we will not have to suffer the ridiculous limitations that block us from telephone and visiting access. I’m really optimistic about the e-mail program, as once it comes, I’ll be able to build closer connections with my mom and my sisters.
This morning I resumed my work on chapter 5 at 3:12 AM. I wrote through page 233, then went outside to exercise. After finishing my run, I returned to my writing, and by 3:00 in the afternoon I had reached page 236 of the manuscript, concluding the first draft of chapter five. I spent the remainder of the afternoon writing letters to professors who have invited me to speak at their universities upon my release.
I ran 10 miles this morning. My running tally is now 1,999 miles over the past 226 days.
Prison Journal: Day 7,944
May 10, 2009
Last night I went to bed at five in the afternoon. I woke at 3:00, which meant I was well rested with nearly 10 hours of sleep. That made for a productive writing session. I have written an estimated 9,000 words on this second version of the chapter. I feel pleased with the work though I will wait for responses from my first reader before I express too much optimism. I’m sending the documents to Carole today for typing.
Tomorrow morning I will continue writing. I have another 3,000 to 5,000 words I want to write in the opening section. Then I must return to the proposal itself and spend several days refining it. My hopes are to have the entire document ready for the ltierary agent who represents me by mid-summer. We’ll see.
Following my morning writing, I went to run. I ran 10 miles at a much faster pace than usual. I now have 1,317 miles logged over the past 149 days. I spent the afternoon writing a new article for change.org. I wrote about the parole system and expressed my thoughts on why prison reform ought to bring back parole. I wrote a similar article last week for PrisonTalk. My new article for change.org ought to run on Monday, 18 May 2009.
It is Mother’s Day, and I’m sad that I do not have access to sufficient phone minutes. I cannot use the phone to call my mother, my grandmother, or my two sisters. I hate this terrible disruption to my family and community as a consequence of this phone system. In fewer than three more years, this will end for me.
Sunday, 10 May 2009
Follow Michael on Facebook and Twitter
Michael G. Santos
Promote Your Page Too
Books by
Michael G. Santos
Inside: Life Behind Bars in America
About Prison
Profiles From Prison
Subscribe