Prison Journal: Day 8,209
January 30, 2010
One essential key to a productive journey through prison—and I suspect through life—is creativity. Through creativity, the mind is challenged to read the world, to evaluate strength and weaknesses, and to focus energy on adding some kind of value. Some people find creative outlets like drawing or music, but for me writing has always helped. Currently I have the challenge of collaborating on a new manuscript, and I’m pleased to have reached a milestone toward completion of the project today.
Embarking upon a long writing project requires substantial thought. I begin the project by thinking of my intended audience. Then I think about the message I want to deliver and creative ways to express it. I spend hundreds of hours on that creative process, staring at the wall for hours, writing notes, researching other books. I run around the track and I think about how I will open the story. I write drafts and then I throw the pages away. In time, the process brings more clarity of thought and I begin to see the project in my mind, from start to finish. That vision gives me the energy to complete an outline, and the outline becomes the blueprint for the rest of the project. Once I have the outline, I write the first chapter. That chapter begins in the same way, with many drafts.
Today I finished a draft of the first chapter for the new manuscript. I use it as an introduction for the work that will follow. To collaborate on this project requires more research gathering than I did for Earning Freedom, my previous manuscript. But even the research gathering is creative.
To complete my portion within the time line I’ve set (by June I expect to finish my part), I’ll begin my workday every morning between 2:00 and 3:00 am. I’ll break my work between 6:00 and 9:00 for exercise. Then I’ll spend the afternoons gathering content through research and interviewing other prisoners. By completing a draft of the first chapter today, I’ve taken a significant step forward, and I’m eager to continue progress in the days, weeks, and months ahead. All of this work contributes to my preparations for success upon release.
This morning I ran 10 miles. I followed the run with 100 pushups.
Saturday, 30 January 2010
[Consecutive running log: 3,680 miles over the past 414 days]
[pushups in 2010: 10,000]
Prison Journal: Day 8,125
November 7, 2009
I heard from Carol, not my wife, but a friend and writing mentor of mine who lives in Washington, DC. Carol has been editing my newest manuscript, Earning Freedom, and the suggestions she is making will help me strengthen the work. I value her outside perspective.
The reason Carol’s comments matter so much to me is that she doesn’t sugar-coat or spare my feelings. If the writing or content lacks vigor, she tells me, offering suggestions and encouraging me to try again. When Carol tells me the work is good and that she likes it, she boosts my confidence, especially since I know her constructive comments will help me improve the manuscript.
While Carol works on her edit, the acquisition editors in New York are evaluating the current version of the manuscript for St. Martin’s Press. One of the editors sent a message to my agent, so I know the manuscript is under review and I’ll receive news soon, perhaps before Thanksgiving. I’m at ease, not feeling pressure for news because this book doesn’t need to come out until I’m home. I’m confident that I’ll find a publisher that wants to partner with me in telling this story. For now, though, I wait in limbo. Carol will finish her edit before the end of November, and in December I’ll resume work to incorporate her suggestions.
This morning I ran 10 miles and followed the run with 350 pushups. My running tally is now 2,934 miles over the past 329 consecutive days.
Prison Journal: Day 8,039
August 13, 2009
Another prisoner who serves time with me at Taft Camp asked me what it has been like to spend so many years in prison. That’s a question I can’t answer easily, and it’s the reason I keep writing books and articles on the subject. To describe 22 years in prison is going to become a career for me, as I have so many experiences to share.
He then asked whether time passed much faster while I was in the penitentiary. I told him that although it may sound implausible, the entire sentence feels as if it has passed easily, fast. I know that many of my fellow prisoners have difficulty moving from one hour into the next. In my case, as I look back, I wonder where the 22 years have gone. It’s not because I wasted the decades. Keeping busy has been an essential strategy in serving this sentence. It still is. I don’t mean keeping busy with jobs or programs the prison system offers, I mean keeping busy working toward meaningful goals that contribute to society. Some people find their peace through religion, fitness, or education. Everyone who reads my writing knows the goals that motivated me.
I am at my best when I create projects that will carry me through several months – or years. Early in my term, the pursuit of educational credentials inspired me to study for more than 12 hours every day. Then, I created projects that would open opportunities to use what I had learned. Later, developing better writing and communication skills kept me going. Throughout the entire term, fitness and exercise has been part of every day, with weight training when I was in my 20s and early 30s, long-distance running in my later 30s and 40s.
I also need time alone. I wake very early, always before 3:00 AM, and find a quiet place where I can value my alone time. Now that I’m writing a new manuscript, I like to begin working before 2:00 in the morning. Today I began at 2:00 and worked through 6:00 PM editing. My only time away from the desk was to eat or to exercise. I ran 10 miles, bringing my running tally to 2,165 miles over the past 244 consecutive days.
Prison Journal: Day 8,035
August 9, 2009
This manuscript I’m writing for Earning Freedom may require a higher word count than I originally anticipated. When I first wrote the proposal, I thought I could tell the story in 110,000 words. That would have translated into a book of 300 pages.
After writing the first two sample chapters, I revised the proposal upward to 140,000 words. Now that I’m well into chapter seven, I’m thinking I may have to revise upward again, to 150,000 words. Depending on the number of words per page, that could mean a book of between 400 and 550 pages. It may be too long, but I’m trying to show readers as much about my 22-year journey through prison as possible.
Today I began writing at 1:45 this morning. By the end of the day I wrote through page 301. Then I spent the afternoon editing. We definitely ought to submit next week. My only other activity today was exercised. I ran 10 miles, bringing my tally to 2,125 miles over the past 240 days.
Prison Journal: Day 8,033
August 7, 2009
Today was a visiting day for me at Taft Camp, so I woke with enthusiasm at 1:44 am. I wanted to read through the edits I’ve made to the first two chapters of the manuscript. Next week, I expect that Carole will submit my proposal along with three sample chapters to my agent. While he considers it, I will continue writing. I worked through page 283 this morning, taking me deeper into chapter seven.
I went outside for exercise, running three miles. That brought my running tally to 2,105 miles over the past 238 consecutive days.
Carole was here at 8:10, but with the line and processing, our visit didn’t begin until 8:35. One week feels too long for us to pass between visits. Some prisoners prefer to avoid visiting, but Carole is my connection to the world. I cherish every minute that we’re together. When she’s beside me my heart pounds, not only with exhilaration from her touch, but also with anticipation of how wonderful life will be once I’m released from prison and living with her.
Today, I had the privilege of meeting a few people in the visiting room. Steve is a fellow prisoner here at Taft Camp, and while Carole and I were visiting, Steve enjoyed a visit from his wife, Peggy, and daughter, Meg. Peggy is an English professor, and she has been kind to edit my initial work on the manuscript.
We also met Suzy, a wife from Utah who flew in to visit her husband. She came over and introduced herself to us, and thanked us for posting regular news about life at Taft Camp.
Prison Journal: Day 8,030
August 4, 2009
An acquaintance of mine, here at Taft Camp, asked me the significance of keeping this prison journal. He thought prison was something a prisoner should try to forget about, not memorialize by writing about the drudgery each day. For me, keeping a journal represents a willful act, I told him. It is part of this deliberate effort I make to control the progress I make on several fronts.
Keeping a journal requires discipline. It forces me to think about the way I’m living my life in here, and it also helps me remain true to the goals I set. Through my journal, I’ve announced to the world that I intend to exercise every day until I’m released from prison, and I’ve publicly stated that I’m writing a new manuscript. Because I announced those goals, I feel compelled to reach them. I work every day toward those efforts, and I invite others to hold me accountable. The journal also helps me hold myself accountable.
This morning, for example, I hopped down from my rack at 1:18 am, and by 1:29, I was sitting in this quiet room where I like to write. I spent the early morning editing the first draft of chapter five. It’s a long chapter, and I read through it twice, making initial changes. I’ll edit it several more times as the months pass. This is how I work. I write, then I set the work aside, and return to take a fresh look at my work several times, cutting, adding, and refining each time-or trying to refine.
I ran 10 miles. That run brought my tally to 2,082 miles over the past 235 days.
Then I spent the remainder of the day working over chapter six of Earning Freedom. I wrote through page 276, finishing the first draft of this chapter. Tomorrow morning, early, I will outline and begin writing chapter seven.
It’s nearly 5:00 in the afternoon now and I’m ready to lie down. I have a short story by Thomas Mann I’m going to read, then I’ll read a bit from The Book of Luke in the Bible, and fall into a deep sleep. I know I’ll wake well rested before 2:00 a.m., eager to resume my work.
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Prison Journal: Day 8,024
July 29, 2009
I’m grateful to the people who take time to write me after they read my work. I have a stack of envelopes from people who’ve read my book, Inside: Life Behind Bars, some of my other books, or articles that my wife publishes for me on our Web site. I’ve not been able to keep up with the correspondence, and I hope readers will give me a pass.
Receiving mail helps prisoners endure the separation from family and community. I know many prisoners at Taft Camp who stand around the officer as he passes out mail, and when they receive a letter from home, their faces light up. I know the joy, as I depend on the regular letters that Carole sends me to make it from one visiting day to the next.
Now, I’m in the midst of writing this new manuscript for Earning Freedom, and the project receives all of my attention. I’ve been in prison for so long that I know the necessity of discipline. I need to write every day, for many hours each day, because I deem this manuscript a worthwhile endeavor that will add value to society, and to my family.
As a prisoner, even in a minimum-security camp as pleasant as Taft, I know that anything can happen. To ensure that surprises don’t interrupt my progress, I prioritize, meaning I devote my working energy to writing the manuscript and keeping current with my daily blogging journal.
This morning I began writing at 2:24 am, and by the time I put my work away, I advanced chapter six to page 249. I’m still waiting to receive some of my earlier chapters in the mail for editing. Until they come, I’ll continue this work on chapter six.
I ran 10 miles this morning, boosting my running tally to 2,029 miles over the past 229 consecutive days.
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Prison Journal: Day 8,022
July 27, 2009
This morning, at 1:44 am, I carried my writing gear to the quiet room and sat to outline chapter six of my new manuscript, Earning Freedom. When I write “Chapter Six,” I know that I mislead readers, as that doesn’t sound as if I’ve written much. but I began page 238 this morning, and by the time I put my work away in the afternoon, I had written through page 242.
It’s very fulfilling for me to write this manuscript. Since I write every sentence in longhand, sometimes three or four times a day, when I complete six pages it’s really equivalent to writing 18 to 24 pages. I’m hoping to find a wide readership with this book, as readers from around the world ought to know about long-term imprisonment.
My editing responsibilities will require my attention for the next several days, I suspect. That means I will not resume writing chapter six in earnest until next week. I may write a few pages here and there, but I’m expecting to receive drafts of chapter four and five in the mail, and those will require several hours of work as well.
I’m grateful for this project. Sometimes I get so into the work that I forget I’m writing about a time much earlier in my sentence. I have to step out of the moment, as I sometimes feel the weight of my sentence, as if I have to serve all those years again. I’m glad to set the work aside and remember that I’m now within four years of my release.
I ran 10 miles this morning, boosting my running tally to 2,009 miles over the past 227 consecutive days.
Prison Journal: Day 8,014
July 19, 2009
In writing Earning Freedom, this memoir of a journey through prison that has lasted 22 years so far, it is important to tell my wife, Carole, how much I love her. The reason telling her I love her is crucial is because I’m writing this story chronologically, as I lived it. That means I’m writing about romances that came into my life long before Carole, and it cannot be easy for her to read these sections. I’m sensitive to such issues with my wife, and I must affirm my love for her again and again to ease some of the discomfort that likely arises when she types various sections of the manuscript. I understand my wife’s feelings.
This morning, at 2:30, I began writing chapter five. That portion of the manuscript begins in early 1992 and describes my journey through 1995. We’ll get through chapter five over the next eight or nine days. Then I’ll write chapter six, and by late chapter seven, Carole will have come into my life. I’m sure that as she reads about my love for her, and how that love has grown over the past eight years, she’ll forget about the troubling history she types for me now.
I ran 10 miles, a slower pace than normal. My tally is now 1,936 miles over the past 219 days. I’m going to bed now, at 5:00 in the afternoon, as I expect to wake in the morning for a productive day of writing.
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