Prison Journal: Day 8,036
August 10, 2009
Today I complete my 1,144th week in prison. I arrive at that number because today I complete my 22nd full year. The number isn’t exact because of the several leap years, but with 8,036 days in, I don’t think that anyone would dispute it’s been a long time. Yet the time hasn’t been wasted.
Those who know me can attest to my positive attitude. Every morning, I wake early, filled with optimism and eager to progress toward the next goal I’m working on. I don’t require an alarm clock, as the goals I set bring me all the energy I need to hop off my rack before three each morning and begin my work.
This morning, I began writing at 2:27. About one hour later, two prisoners who were being released today stopped by to wish me well. One who went by the nickname Psyche was with me 20 years ago in a penitentiary. The other had served 17 years. Someday, my release will come.
I wrote through page 309 today. Tomorrow, I think I will complete the first draft of chapter seven. Carole ought to submit the proposal along with the first three chapters today. Once my agent receives them, he’ll determine whether they are ready to submit to our publisher in New York.
I ran 10 miles this morning. My running tally is now 2,135 miles over the past 241 days.
Prison Journal: Day 8,034
August 8, 2009
Some readers may wonder whether a man in prison can still lead a meaningful life. Keeping a busy schedule helps me. I’m always working to complete the next project, and I measure my progress every day. Measuring progress is one of the reasons I write this daily prison journal. The discipline of writing forces me to evaluate how well I’m using my time.
This morning I began writing at 2:06, and I am pleased to note that by the time I put away my writing things, I advance my manuscript to page 293. By my estimates, I wrote 2,000 words today, perhaps a bit more. I consider that a productive day.
I also exercised. The temperatures have dropped here in Taft for some reason. Since it’s not as hot, I didn’t go outside until 7:00. I ran 10 miles, bringing my consecutive total to 2,115 miles over the past 239 days.
I’m reading a book of short stories by Thomas Mann. He writes long, eloquent sentences, and describes characters, scenes, and events better than anyone I’ve read. I suppose some would consider him one of the world’s most literate writers, and he impressed me as being both smart and worldly.
Prison Journal: Day 7,890
March 18, 2009
Many of the men with whom I serve time at Taft Camp seem like children on the days leading up to Christmas. They are giddy with anticipation for the prison reform legislation that they feel certain is about to pass. The talk focuses on bills the Congress is about to introduce that will provide more good time, or legislation that will resume the parole program throughout the federal system. When the inmates approach me with questions on what I’ve heard, I always suggest that it’s more empowering to prepare than to wait.
A successful prison adjustment, from my perspective, requires a commitment of emotions and will. I’ve embraced this strategy from the beginning of my term. It means that I never relinquish control of my aspirations to an outside force. With my conviction comes a lengthy sentence. That prison term represents the hand I must play. I never allowed myself to cling to the possibility than an outside force would change my predicament. Instead, I created opportunities to live a life of meaning in spite of the decades I would serve.
That strategy is not always what my fellow prisoners want to hear. I understand. They feel sad and disconnected from society. Prisoners miss their families and communities. The thought of serving four, five, or ten years in prison paralyzes their spirits. In this era of change, it can feel better to cling to hopes for legislative relief.
As I have written elsewhere, I too am optimistic that our country’s new leadership will reform our nation’s prison system. By 2010, I suspect that the Director of the BOP will transition his management style from a Bush perspective to an Obama perspective. That means I would expect more transparency; I would expect prisoners to have better access to family and community; I would expect more encouragement to prepare for success upon release. Besides those administrative changes, I feel optimistic that the 111th Congress will pass prison-reform legislation that provides relief.
Despite those expectations, I think prisoners must focus on steps they may take to prepare. The emotional roller coaster of waiting for outside forces to improve conditions can debilitate a successful prison adjustment. I advise my fellow prisoners to educate themselves, to make contributions to society, to build stronger networks of support, to improve their fitness or expand their consciousness. Efforts to prepare for the challenges that await release will empower them as such efforts empower me. When I offer such guidance, however, I frequently feel as if I am the wicked older brother who tells his siblings there is no Santa Claus.
I, too, want to resume my life in society. After nearly 22 years of imprisonment, I feel eager to taste liberty. My experiences make me incapable of waiting for others to bring me freedom, though. I feel as if I must prepare for it, or create it myself. That’s why I woke at 2:42 this morning, read, then began writing at 3:07. By 7:30 I had finished writing nine blog articles or responses to reader comments. At 8:00 I began my exercise. At 10:00 I had logged 10 miles and six sets of bar dips. My running tally is now at 863 miles over the past 95 days. I wrote four additional articles in the afternoon, and was on my rack reading at 5:30. I was sleeping by 6:15. It was a full day, part of my deliberate strategy to prepare for success upon release.
Tuesday, 18 March 2009
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