Prison Journal: Day 8,139
November 21, 2009
My new book, Earning Freedom, will not be coming to market until after my release, and when it does, it will not be with St. Martin’s Press. Carole and I intend to build my career around this new book, a story that describes my long journey and maturity through prison, but St. Martin’s Press has not offered the level of support we expect from our publishing partner. Despite the success that came with wide distributions for Inside, both Carole and I anticipate that Earning Freedom will reach a much broader audience. To realize that goal, I need to be in society and available to promote the book through television, radio, Internet and a national speaking tour. We cannot make this happen if I’m still in prison and we cannot make this happen without a full commitment from our publishing partner.
Carole asked whether St. Martin’s Press disappointed me and I had to think before I could respond. I’m a prisoner and I’ve been a prisoner since 1987. Living with these restrictions has conditioned me to look inward for sources of validation, and the message I try to convey through my work is that regardless of the decisions that others make, each of us is responsible to navigate the path to success and happiness. I would have liked to begin marketing my work with St. Martin’s now while I conclude this prison term, but the limitations of confinement presents hurdles that the publisher has chosen not to cross with me, and that lack of commitment will lead me to a new publisher when I leave prison boundaries.
In light of this development, one that I’ll keep to myself and internalize for awhile, I’ll have to decide what kind of projects I can pursue through 2010. I know my exercise schedule as I’ve made the commitment to run 3,000 miles and strength train with 1,000 pushups. Progress toward those goals will be easy for me to measure. But I also need to identify some writing and career-preparation goals, and I’m thinking about that now. Before the end of this year, I intend to draw the new map that I will follow through 2010.
This morning I ran 10 miles and I followed with 300 pushups.
[consecutive running log: 3,060 miles over the past 343 days]
Saturday, 21 November 2009
Prison Journal: Day 8,116
October 29, 2009
Today’s mail brought me a complete copy of the latest version of Earning Freedom, my new manuscript. Carole has made all of edits for this round and she sent me the newest version which is the same version that my agent read and accepted. The manuscript is now in New York where it’s under review by editors at St. Martin’s Press. The volume of pages I received today reminds me of how much work I put into writing the story. I’m hopeful that editors find the manuscript compelling. This book would be the second in a series, after Inside, that describes America’s prison system.
If St. Martin’s Press agrees to publish Earning Freedom, I’d follow it with a third installment that I would write after my release, describing my adjustment to society after nearly two and a half decades in prison. I began serving this term when I was 23, when Ronald Reagan was in the White House. Now the world is much different and as a 45-year old man, I’m different. While I await a decision from St. Martin’s Press, I’ll continue working toward my goals.
Physical fitness will always be an essential part of my life, and running every day helps me pass the time. This morning I ran 10 miles and finished my exercise with 300 pushups. I’ve run for the past 320 consecutive days and during that time I’ve accumulated a total of 2,854 miles. I intend to continue running every day until my release. By the time I reach 1,000 days I should be home.
Thursday, 29 October 2009
Prison Journal: Day 8,113
October 26, 2009
I’m calm as I move into this final week of October. Jim Schiavone, the literary agent who represented my previous book, Inside, is now reviewing Earning Freedom. He will determine whether the manuscript is ready for submission to publishers, and I know a decisions awaits that may influence my life. I’m hopeful, but I’m calm.
I’ve been looking at a calendar and projecting into the future. It won’t be long before we celebrate the holiday season, and in only two months, we’ll be in a new year. This year brings the mark of a new decade, and a feeling of renewal. I began my term in the 1980s; I served all of the 1990s, and now all of the 2000s in prison. When the 2010 decade begins, I will have begun the fourth series of 10 years as a prison—but it will be the decade I’m scheduled for release. As I advance closer to release, I’m thinking much more about the changes that will come and how I will live.
Mostly, I’m looking forward to building my life with Carole, and to making contributions to society through my career. Sometimes I find myself staring into space, wondering about what freedom is like. Earlier today, I spoke with Carole about my enthusiasm to discover so much about the world together with her. That time approaches, and we’re both ready.
Today I ran 10 miles in the morning and I followed the run with 300 pushups. I’ve run 2,828 miles in 317 consecutive days.
Monday, 26 October 2009
Prison Journal: Day 8,096
October 9, 2009
This morning I began my day at 1:42. I was eager to work through edits on chapter 12 of Earning Freedom, the final chapter of the manuscript. I finished the edit in time to send the chapter out in this morning’s mail.
Carole ought to receive the chapter on Tuesday and I’m hoping that she will update the chapter by Friday, the 16th. I’ve received the first six revised chapters in the mail, and this weekend I’ll begin reading through the manuscript a final time before I send it to Jim, my literary agent.
I’m thrilled to reach this stage of the process. As a prisoner, I’ve learned to create excitement in my life through projects I work on over sustained periods of time. In retrospect, I’ve been living this manuscript through 22 years of prison. But it was in early spring of this year that I began to outline how I would write the story. After a first effort that I discarded, I settled on a first-person narrative that would show my prison journey as I experienced it, in a present-tense voice from my arrest through the events going on in my life today.
My agent will review the manuscript, and if it passes his review he will submit the manuscript to St. Martin’s Press for first consideration. That will begin a period of anxiety for me as I wait to learn about the publisher’s reaction. I hope to hear about a decision before the end of this year. If I receive a publishing agreement, the book ought to reach bookstores by the end of 2010.
I’m glad to have this publishing project alive as it helps me through these last years that I’m scheduled to serve. By the end of 2010, I’ll be much closer to liberty and I’ll have these two meaningful projects to work through until then.
This morning I ran three miles, boosting my running tally to 2,672 miles over the past 301 days. I followed my run with 200 pushups. Then I enjoyed a magnificent visit with Carole.
Friday, 9 October 2009
Prison Journal: Day 8,067
September 10, 2009
This morning, at 1:42, I sat down to begin outlining chapter twelve of my new manuscript, Earning Freedom. This chapter will bring readers along on my journey from Lompoc Camp, to Taft Camp, and all the experiences I’ve had up to the present day, whenever I finish the chapter. I’m eager to conclude it because Carole and I have so much going on that I want to write.
By the time I concluded my work this afternoon, I’d written through page 540. That’s a productive day of longhand, as each page takes about one hour for me to write. I ought to finish a solid first draft by the end of next week.
I ran 10 miles this morning. Temperatures have cooled here at Taft Camp. A month ago when I walked to the track at 5:50 am, the sun was already over the mountains. On some early mornings, the temperature was more than 80 degrees. Now the early morning temperature is in the low 60s, and I’m halfway finished with my run before I have to put on sunglasses. My running tally is 2,417 miles over the past 272 days.
Tomorrow is a short run, as I’ll be waiting to kiss Carole.
Thursday, 10 September 2009
Prison Journal: Day 8,054
August 28, 2009
I just heard the strangest news from another prisoner at Taft Camp. He told me that he received an incident report because officials suspected that he had mailed a letter to his wife with instructions that his wife should forward the letter to someone else. I understand that policies prohibit inmates from corresponding with other people who are in prison. I haven’t heard of a rule that prohibits prisoners from using family members or others as a clearinghouse to pass along other correspondence. I’m going to look into the mail policy more closely, and when I learn more, I’ll write about it. Until then, I will not send letters home for my wife to pass along to others.
It will not be much longer, I keep telling myself, that I’ll leave prison for the real world. Running every day helps. I don’t expect to be in prison 1,000 days from now, and since I have more than 8,000 prison days behind me, I can handle it.
This morning I began writing chapter ten of Earning Freedom. I began outlining the chapter before 2:00 AM, and by 6:00 I wrote the first four pages, advancing the manuscript to page 424. Then I went outside to exercise. I ran 3 miles, the shorter distance I always run when I’m expecting a visit from my wife. My running tally is now 2,294 miles over the past 259 days.
Carole and I enjoyed a wonderful six hours together. The time is never long enough for me. I miss her terribly each Friday night, but I’m finding strength in the manuscript I’m writing. It’s therapeutic for me to write about the prison journey, and now I’m in a section where Carole and I go through our first transfer together. I look forward to writing more tomorrow.
Friday, 28 August 2009
Prison Journal: Day 8,052
August 26, 2009
I’m pleased to have finished Chapter 9 today, or at least a first draft of the chapter. I began writing at 1:51 this morning and by the time I finished for the day, I advanced the manuscript to page 420.
I’d like to begin outlining and writing chapter 10 in the morning. I can’t. This morning I had a long phone conversation with one of the attorneys who is working to help me. He asked that I provide him with some information that I’m going to have to write. I expect to spend eight to ten hours writing that content. That writing responsibility translates into my not being able to start chapter 10 until Friday.
I had a slower 10-mile run this morning, at a more normal pace that allowed me to finish the run in 87 minutes. My new distance total is 2,281 miles in 257 consecutive days.
Prison Journal: Day 8,051
August 25, 2009
This morning, I began writing at 1:47 am. I’m writing about the days leading up to my marriage with Carole. My mother and my younger sister, Christina, flew to New Jersey to participate in our wedding inside the Fort Dix visiting room. That wedding was one of the best days of my imprisonment. Many people advised me not to marry. They said I had been in prison too long and that I didn’t know anything about love or the difficulties of marriage. Marrying Carole, though, was one of the best decisions in my life, as she’s brought more happiness and fulfillment to my life than I expected to know as a prisoner. I wrote through page 411 of the Earning Freedom manuscript, chapter nine. I ought to finish chapter nine tomorrow.
After the creative writing, I worked the remainder of the day editing. My mentor, Peggy, and my wife provided some outstanding suggestions to improve the presentation. I’m grateful for their expert touch.
This morning I ran 10 miles at the fastest pace in many years. I think the cooler temperature and my new running shoes combined to give me a finishing time more than 10 minutes ahead of my normal pace. I finished the run in 1 hour, 16 minutes, 13 seconds.
Prison Journal: Day 8,048
August 22, 2009
My visit yesterday with my sister, her children, and Carole, exhausted me, I guess. I slept until the unpardonable hour of 2:30 this morning. I could have slept longer, but I was too eager to hop down from my rack and resume writing chapter nine of Earning Freedom. I had a productive writing session, advancing to page 381 of the manuscript.
Early in the morning, I took my break for exercise. I ran 10 miles, bringing my tally to 2,241 miles over the past 253 days. Some of my fellow prisoners here at Taft Camp asked me how long I intend to continue running before I would take a day of rest. I want to run for 1,000 straight days, and unless prison regulations or release stops me, I intend to reach that goal. If I complete 1,000 straight days of running, by then I will be much closer to home. I’ve already completed more than 25 percent of the journey.
Prison Journal: Day 8,046
August 20, 2009
I’m sitting in my cubicle, with my feet posted on the steel post that holds up my rack. It’s 4:04 on Thursday afternoon, and after a long day of writing, I’m waiting for the guards to walk by for the daily census count. Once they pass, and I finish writing this entry, I’ll lie down for the evening.
I’m pleased with the work I completed today. I finished writing chapter eight of Earning Freedom. This pivotal chapter takes me through early 2002, an essential part of my life because that was the year Carole reached out to me. I’ve been looking forward to completing this chapter because all the future chapters of my life include Carole. I wrote through page 369 of the manuscript.
Following the work on my manuscript, which I began before 2:00 this morning, I wrote a letter to Jonathan, one of the lawyers on my legal team. In a speech, Eric Holder gave to the ABA earlier this month, the Attorney General wrote about the importance of thinking smart on crime. He said that reducing recidivism was an important component of that strategy, and I wrote to Jonathan to express efforts I make to reduce recidivism through my work.
In Earning Freedom, I hope to make this case in a compelling way for readers. I’m on track to finish a complete draft of the manuscript before Thanksgiving.
This morning I ran 10 miles. The tally now stands at 2,228 miles over the past 251 consecutive days of running.
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