Today is my sister Julie’s birthday and I’m sad because my limitation of telephone minutes will not allow me to call her. Julie has been supportive of me from the first day my prison journey began back in 1987, and since then I’ve missed 23 of her birthdays because of my imprisonment. I’m looking forward to release, a time when I won’t have these restrictions that block me from nurturing family and community ties. For now, my physical community is limited to the boundaries of Taft prison camp.
Although more than 500 other prisoners share these boundaries with me, I live an isolated existence here. I think of the goals I set as rungs on a ladder, and no matter what, I know I’m climbing closer to the opening that will bring me home. Currently I have two friends at Taft Camp, Steve and David, both of whom will return to their families within the next week. Yesterday, Steve hosted a pizza luncheon for David and me. After discussing the goals I’m setting to carry me through 2010, David entertained us with descriptions of his safari adventures to Africa. As I listened to David talk about sleeping in open-air rooms with lions prowling beneath them, and watching from his balcony as elephants march through jungles, I was reminded of how much I’ve missed of the world.
I’m writing this journal entry at 3:20 in the morning, about two hours into my day. It is the first day of radio stations broadcasting holiday music and I’ve already heard three Christmas songs. I know this is a festive season for people across the world, but it’s the start of a slower month for me. When my two friends Steve and David leave, I’ll have my work to keep me company but I won’t have any close interactions with others. I’m thinking that 2010 may bring a year of more introspection, probably necessary time to contemplate the challenges I must overcome upon release.
The current issue of Time magazine featured an article on posttraumatic stress disorder, describing the mental challenges that complicate the lives of one out of five soldiers who return from war. I wonder whether any type of stress will come with my return to society after so many years in confinement. I feel completely well-adjusted and prepared for to build my career.
I’ll be happy to return to society, but until my release, I’ll use a pen and paper to record thoughts that come to me as I advance through the final months of my imprisonment. I’m looking forward to building my Internet platform and to writing more about the prison experience, and I look forward to reaching new, measurable fitness goals. Later this morning I’ll run another 10 miles, and I’ll follow with 300 pushups.
[consecutive running log: 3,080 miles over the past 345 consecutive days]
Monday, 23 November 2009
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