I’m happy to have received a message from my wife, Carole, that my mom reads my daily blog. The Bureau of Prisons likes to promote itself as being family friendly, but the policies it enforces seem designed to isolate prisoners from families and communities. I’ve lived with those policies since 1987, and as a consequence of them, I don’t enjoy the close family relationships with my mother, my sisters, or their families that other citizens take for granted.

Those separations prompt me to write about this long journey. Many years ago I read the famous epic by Homer titled The Odyssey. The story describes Odysseus’ struggles in fighting his way home over a 20-year period. Although I’m not battling one-eyed monsters and other creatures, I wrestle with feelings of isolation, and conquer the loneliness by writing about the experience. But, I know that I’m communicating with a wide audience, and that doesn’t lend itself well to the close, intimate relationships most people enjoy with family. I’m too far at sea, and I’ve been gone too long to understand their daily lives.

I’ve recently completed a first draft of chapter seven for my manuscript, Earning Freedom, and those first 323 pages describe what it’s been like to grow through so many years apart from my family. One clear reminder of how much time has passed is my niece, Isabella. I cried over the telephone when I heard about my younger sister, Christina giving birth to Isabella. I was just starting my sentence then, and I felt sad, alone, because I couldn’t hold my sister or her baby. Now, Isabella’s in the university. I’ve missed her entire life, as well as all that has gone on in the lives of my mother, my sisters, my other nieces and nephews, even my father’s death.

The journey has been long, though it hasn’t always been bad. I’ve been blessed with privileges and opportunities that few long-term prisoners enjoy. I was able to educate myself, I’ve built a quasi-career through writing, and I built this extraordinary marriage with Carole, my devoted wife who serves this sentence with me. Yet, casualties exist in that I cannot participate in the lives of my extended family. Telephone restrictions don’t even allow for me to talk with others. I’ve adjusted, though I know my mother and sisters suffer without closer contact with me. I have to keep sailing home, and at most, I know I’ve got four more years to go. Although I’m far away at sea, I send a message to my mom: I love you.

Today I enjoyed a magnificent visit with Carole. I ran three miles in the early morning, and outlined chapter eight. My running tally is now 2,168 miles over the past 245 days.

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