Prison Journal: Day 7,976

June 11, 2009

Today my younger sister, Christina, celebrates her 42nd birthday. I began serving my prison sentence when Christina was only 19, and my criminal decisions began before she graduated from high school. Those bad decisions I made led to my missing a significant portion of my sister’s life, and on days like today, her birthday, I feel sad and miss her very much.

Christina lives in Miami. She and her husband married around the same time my prison term began and together they reared two children. Isabella is in her second or third year of university studies, and Camillia is approaching junior high, I think.

Since I transferred to Taft I haven’t enjoyed much communication with Christina, or with anyone from my extended family. The telephone restrictions limit me to 300 phone minutes per month, and that time is not sufficient for me to cultivate family ties. I made the choice long ago to reserve all of my phone minutes for Carole, and that decision separates me from others in my family.

Christina and I had a close relationship while we were growing up. All these years of imprisonment have made me feel as if I don’t know her anymore. In my mind, time stopped in some ways with my arrest. Although Christina has been married for longer than 20 years and she has reared two children. I still visualize her as my little sister. I hope that our family can reunite after my release, but truthfully, I worry that the time I have served comes with irreversible consequences.

I’ll never be able to cultivate the close, family bonds that I would have liked to enjoy with my nieces and nephew. Those four children grew up without me playing much of a role in their lives. We visited only a few times, and sitting in a prison visiting room could not have been such a memorable event for them. My restrictions precluded me from enjoying holidays, family gatherings, or giving them a sense of who I was as a person, as their uncle. A close, extended family, I think, is one of the casualties of my lengthy imprisonment. I thought about my sisters while I ran today.

After 10 miles, I returned to the housing unit to edit. It is only through work that I can alleviate these feelings of separation. Tomorrow I will visit with Carole, and that will help. I’m also expecting to visit with my friend Lee, and that will be a nice treat.

My running tally is now 1,596 miles over the past 182 days.

Thursday, 11 June 2009

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Posted by Michael Santos | Filed Under Prison Journal 

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During his 23+ years of continuous confinement in federal prisons of every security level, Michael Santos has emerged as one of the leading voices on America's prison system and the need for prison reform.Learn more about Michael’s specific efforts, achievements, and contributions.


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