Prison Journal: Day 7,961
May 27, 2009
Today would have been my father’s 74th birthday. He passed away five years ago on June 11, 2004. I had not spoken with my father since 1998, as he suffered from Alzheimer’s disease and couldn’t carry on a conversation over the telephone. Traveling to visit me was not an option. The last time I saw my father was in 1994, when I was still confined in USP Atlanta.
Death is the natural extension of life, though the death of family members can feel difficult for those in prison. Besides my father, I’ve been saddened with the death of my grandfather and the death of two mentors who were close to me during the first decades of my imprisonment. I’ve never grieved properly for those deaths of people I love, as my prison adjustment brought the ancillary consequence of drying my emotions.
Besides my father’s birthday, today is also the birthday of my niece, Isabella. My younger sister Christina gave birth to Isabella 20 years ago, when I was in the early stages of this sentence. I learned about Isabella’s birth from a telephone call home, and I still remember the flood of tears that fell. It was the first confirmation I received that family life was going on without my inclusion. During my imprisonment I’ve visited with Isabella fewer than a dozen times, and I’m sad to acknowledge that I don’t even know the young lady she has become. I missed her childhood and I missed watching my sister mature as a wife and mother. Those losses of family connections represent the real pain of a lengthy prison term.
I don’t like losing work productivity; this dizzy sensation interrupted my writing progress today. I completed an article for PrisonTalk today that I titled Prepare For Release. My progress on the manuscript I’m writing doesn’t merit reporting. I reported for sick call and the nurse scheduled an appointment for tomorrow.
I did manage to continue my running. I ran 10 miles, boosting my tally to 1,468 miles over the past 166 days.
Wednesday, 27 May 2009
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