Prison Journal: Day 7,949

May 15, 2009

After 28 days without a visit, I felt wonderful when I was able to hold Carole in my arms today. The last time I saw her before today was on her birthday, April 17. We had agreed to suspend our visits for a while in order to allow her to work some extra shifts. The heavy work load that I assigned myself during that time eased our time apart, though I am happy to resume our schedule of regular weekly visits.

Carole and I were not scheduled to visit until next Friday. Sometimes news develops in our prison family that we cannot discuss of the telephone. When that happens, we’re grateful for these opportunities to sit across from each other under the bright lights of the visiting room.

I received an invitation to speak at Stanford University. People who don’t know the struggle of imprisonment might wonder why such news would please me so much. It is because I live without such affirmation. Since 1987, the prison administratorrs who evaluate me have told me time and again that I am a prisoner, a criminal, an undesirable. They have told me that I could not earn university credentials, that I could not publish books, that I could not marry the woman I love. I may have overcome some obstacles, though it has always been through a force of will, through tremendous struggle, and most importantly, with the grace of God. Those who classify, evaluate, and judge me, however, make it clear that as a prisoner, I am not worthy. Yet, mentors I respect have invested time, energy, and their reputation in both meaningful and measurable ways to express support for my work. That is tremendously uplifiting and validating for me.

Before our visit I was able to complete some writing projects. I began my work at 2:30. At 6:00 I ran five miles, bringing my tally to 1,362 miles over the past 154 days. I followed the run with a 20 minute workout using the medicine ball.

Friday, May 15, 2009

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Posted by Michael Santos | Filed Under Prison Journal 

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During his 23+ years of continuous confinement in federal prisons of every security level, Michael Santos has emerged as one of the leading voices on America's prison system and the need for prison reform.Learn more about Michael’s specific efforts, achievements, and contributions.


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Inside: Life Behind Bars in America

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