Prison Journal: Day 7,932
April 28, 2009
Michael and Carole Santos, April 2009
Many prisoners ask whether I’ll be faithful to my wife once my prison term ends. I don’t identify with the logic that leads them to ask me such questions. They assume that as a consequence of the decades I’ve served I would want to enjoy relationships with many women. When I respond that I will build and nurture a stronger, thriving relationship with Carole, they tell me that I’ll have to wait and see what the world is like when I get out. To me, such statements are ridiculous.
Living in and maturing through a long prison term has been like living on a planet separate from the Earth. I’ve been watching the world turn as I aged through my 20s, 30s, and 40s. During all of that time I’ve kept one vision in my head, which was how I wanted to emerge from this experience. Such a vision has led to the values by which I commit to living the rest of my life. The concept of fidelity is at the top of those values.
Falling in love is a simple act, but building a thriving marriage takes work and commitment. The other prisoners who tell me that I don’t know what it’s like in the world may be accurate in that I don’t know what they have experienced. But I do know that I love my wife and that I intend to measure every decision I make by the metric of whether it strengthens the thriving marriage I’m committed to building.
Carole and I have grown together through conditions that would challenge any relationship. Despite the hardship that comes as a part of imprisonment, we continuously grow closer as husband and wife, as partners, as friends. She inspires me to work harder, as I’m always striving to prove worthy of the love she gives. I pledge the rest of my life to her with love because she is the only woman with whom I want to share the good times that will accompany my release. It is not that I owe her my life because of what she has given to me through all these years. Rather, she is the central part of my life, the woman to whom I want to grow closer and with whom I want to experience the liberty that comes with my release. I choose to grow closer to Carole every day, to make deeper commitments to our marriage. When other prisoners insinuate that I will see the world differently upon my release, such suggestions seem as preposterous as statements that after all these years, I may make decisions that could return me to prison.
I do not have to experience freedom to know that I will live faithfully to Carole. I value my marriage and the relationship that I share with my wife. That certainty gives me clarity that I rely upon. All of my decisions begin with the end in mind, and in the end, I know that I will be with Carole, my wife and my love. That vision guides everything I say, everything I think, and everything I do. Those are the reasons I know that I will live as a faithful husband to Carole, and I will do so with enthusiasm.
Tuesday, 28 April 2009
Related posts:
- Prison Journal: Day 8,220
- Prison Journal: Day 8,281
- Prison Journal: Day 7,986
- Prison Journal: Day 7,907
- Prison Journal: Day 8,368
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For all the reasons Michael writes about in the entry above, and for so many more that are just between the two of us, I willingly give my love to him in the same way that he loves me.
Because our life is very public, over the years I have become accustomed to hearing the opinions expressed by others. However, I only listen to Michael.
This particular blog posts is and can be very inspirational. Being a young adult thats been married so far for only 5 months I couldn’t imagine the difficulties you and your wife have been through. But, you can really tell through this blog post how much you love your wife. I am finding it very true that you have to work on building a marriage that will last forever.