Many of the men with whom I serve time at Taft Camp seem like children on the days leading up to Christmas. They are giddy with anticipation for the prison reform legislation that they feel certain is about to pass. The talk focuses on bills the Congress is about to introduce that will provide more good time, or legislation that will resume the parole program throughout the federal system. When the inmates approach me with questions on what I’ve heard, I always suggest that it’s more empowering to prepare than to wait.
A successful prison adjustment, from my perspective, requires a commitment of emotions and will. I’ve embraced this strategy from the beginning of my term. It means that I never relinquish control of my aspirations to an outside force. With my conviction comes a lengthy sentence. That prison term represents the hand I must play. I never allowed myself to cling to the possibility than an outside force would change my predicament. Instead, I created opportunities to live a life of meaning in spite of the decades I would serve.
That strategy is not always what my fellow prisoners want to hear. I understand. They feel sad and disconnected from society. Prisoners miss their families and communities. The thought of serving four, five, or ten years in prison paralyzes their spirits. In this era of change, it can feel better to cling to hopes for legislative relief.
As I have written elsewhere, I too am optimistic that our country’s new leadership will reform our nation’s prison system. By 2010, I suspect that the Director of the BOP will transition his management style from a Bush perspective to an Obama perspective. That means I would expect more transparency; I would expect prisoners to have better access to family and community; I would expect more encouragement to prepare for success upon release. Besides those administrative changes, I feel optimistic that the 111th Congress will pass prison-reform legislation that provides relief.
Despite those expectations, I think prisoners must focus on steps they may take to prepare. The emotional roller coaster of waiting for outside forces to improve conditions can debilitate a successful prison adjustment. I advise my fellow prisoners to educate themselves, to make contributions to society, to build stronger networks of support, to improve their fitness or expand their consciousness. Efforts to prepare for the challenges that await release will empower them as such efforts empower me. When I offer such guidance, however, I frequently feel as if I am the wicked older brother who tells his siblings there is no Santa Claus.
I, too, want to resume my life in society. After nearly 22 years of imprisonment, I feel eager to taste liberty. My experiences make me incapable of waiting for others to bring me freedom, though. I feel as if I must prepare for it, or create it myself. That’s why I woke at 2:42 this morning, read, then began writing at 3:07. By 7:30 I had finished writing nine blog articles or responses to reader comments. At 8:00 I began my exercise. At 10:00 I had logged 10 miles and six sets of bar dips. My running tally is now at 863 miles over the past 95 days. I wrote four additional articles in the afternoon, and was on my rack reading at 5:30. I was sleeping by 6:15. It was a full day, part of my deliberate strategy to prepare for success upon release.
Tuesday, 18 March 2009
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