Rolando has been serving time with me in Taft Camp for the past two years. He’s in his mid-thirties and I understand that he expects to serve four more years. Today he asked me to help him write a letter to his wife, and it was a difficult letter to write.
Rolando had a visit from his wife yesterday. She drove up from Los Angeles to tell him that she needed to move on with her life. That was the kind of news that no prisoner—that no man who loved his wife—wanted to hear. He was broken up inside and he approached me for counsel. It was not easy for me to dispense.
I have been blessed with a rich marriage. Carole has been working through this prison term with me for longer than 8 years. She has moved to New Jersey, to Colorado, and to California in order to live close enough so that we could make maximum use of my visiting opportunities. Carole has been my link to the world, completely dependable in assisting with the development of my career, the achievement of my goals. I may have served a longer prison term than any human being should have to bear, but because I’ve been blessed with Carole’s love, I feel fulfilled. That sense of completeness with Carole frees me.
I feel a heavy sorrow for others who suffer. Family struggle, perhaps, brings the worst kind of pain to bear. I’ve known scores of prisoners who have felt deserted by their wives, but in reality, it is we as prisoners who have made decisions that resulted in our wives having to struggle through life alone.
While the prison system coddles us with three meals each day, bedding, clothing, access to health care, opportunities to exercise, learn, and grow as individuals, our wives must pay bills and cope with the loneliness. Carole has been a blessing for me, though I know that imprisonment has been much harder on her than anything I’ve experienced.
When I spoke with Rolando today, I explained how I feel about my wife. I try to anticipate the difficulties of her life and then do whatever is within my power to help. She is my inspiration to work hard every day—and I always value her stability ahead of my own comfort. Besides that, I never miss an opportunity to tell Carole how much I appreciate her, how proud I am to have her as my wife, and how much I love her. Those are the reasons, I explained to Rolando, that our marriage has blossomed despite my lengthy imprisonment.
Rolando sat beside me as I offered suggestions that he might express to his wife. My hopes, of course, were that he and all men could build a marriage as rich as the one I enjoy.
Today I ran 8 miles.
[consecutive running log: 4,250 miles in 479 days]
Monday, 5 April 2010
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